The Tao of the Holidays
by Terah Kathryn Collins
O, here they come! The parade of holidays is about to begin. While meant to be relaxing and enjoyable times, holidays can also be quite stressful. When we look through the eyes of the Tao (the Way to sustain or regain harmony) we can identify ways to diminish stress and increase our harmony-quotient throughout the season.
Take a few moments to define in detail your own version of an ideal holiday. Consider reinventing any traditions that cause you stress. Ask yourself “how would my holidays be if they were exactly the way I’d love them to be?” Contemplate the following questions, focusing solely upon your personal preferences.
In deciphering the nuances of your preferences, you are identifying how to sustain your personal harmony and pattern your holidays accordingly. Often, your whole experience can be transformed with just a few changes. It’s important to ask those who share a holiday with you to answer the same questions, and when there are contrasting preferences, look for how to integrate some of everyone’s desires into the day.
For instance, I find it especially pleasurable to cook with other people. Alone in the kitchen, I feel burdened. Sharing holiday food preparation with friends feels like a party. Taking the Chinese adage to heart “Happy cooks make happy food; unhappy cooks make unhappy food,” I no longer suffer in silence in the kitchen. Instead, I invite my guests who enjoy cooking to join me in the kitchen for a holiday prep-party. Or, I offer to help my host when I’m celebrating elsewhere. A little wine and a lot of conversation later, our happiness has poured into the food and created a heavenly meal.
I also love to dine as many Europeans do – slowly! Rushing through a meal seems downright sacrilegious to me, especially a feast that has taken extra time and energy to prepare. I encourage everyone at the table to slow down, savor the food, and enjoy each others company. When you can identify why your fellow diners may hurry through the meal – a game is about to begin; there’s another function to attend – you can often plan around it so that there is no need to rush through breaking bread together.
Pleasurable dining includes the fine art of conversation – an art that has been forgotten around many a table! One of the best ways I’ve found to invite everyone’s voice to be heard is to suggest a “round-table” topic for discussion. Each person takes a turn and answers a question such as:
This type of question invites every one to share what really matters to them. I find I am always touched by what I learn. As the facilitator, I pay attention to everyone having a turn and if necessary gently guide the conversation back to the question so that no one is left out. Such full-circle sharing strengthens heartfelt connections and opens windows into the depths of each other.
By slowing down and honoring personal preferences, we can sustain our harmony and enjoy the many gifts of the season. I invite you to share your discoveries and experiences with me in the comments section below.
May the Tao of your Holidays be blessed in every beautiful Way!
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