The Incredible Resiliency of Being

By Liv Kellgren, WSFS Instructor

My mom was enjoying a romantic weekend away.
With her boyfriend.
On a motorcycle.

It did not end well.

Crisis = Danger + Opportunity
The Chinese character for Crisis is actually two characters side by side: Danger and Opportunity. Danger seems to be short-lived and easily identifiable. Danger, hot water! Danger, mind the gap! Danger, accident ahead! Meanwhile, Opportunity triggers the start of a much longer process, teeming with questions and decisions that can only unfold over time. Opportunity, go back to school! Opportunity, travel abroad! Opportunity, 6 months of rehab!

I’m really glad that Danger is over so quickly.

Danger
I drove all Sunday night, and Monday morning finally saw her tied and tubed, monitored and clamped, medicated and tender.

Surgery on Wednesday to plate and pin her pelvis back together. Pelvis injuries are expected in motorcycle accidents. Now hers has already been repaired; she’ll walk on it again with time and practice. She doesn’t need surgery on her broken vertebrae because her ligaments are still whole and intact. Her broken ribs make it hard to laugh, cough, yawn.

Opportunity
Please drive safely. Accidents happen.

Without blame or fault: They were passing a car on the left, and the driver turned left. Their helmets and jackets were bright yellow and orange. Neon Caution. They were going 45 MPH. This could have been a whole lot worse, and it wasn’t. Although they and I and my children will never get on a motorcycle again, we will all forever be more conscientious drivers: Danger is there.

Danger
Once caught up with her prognosis, I called or texted the entire family. We’re all really close, and all up in each other’s business, and dramatic news travels fast, so I wanted to make sure everyone heard the truth as soon as possible. Going through the details, over and over, with each new family or friend was exhausting in itself; Witnessing their shock, answering their questions, reassuring them, over and over, that she’ll ultimately be OK, was even MORE exhausting.

Opportunity
I’ve decided that if I ever – heaven forbid – get Shocking news, I will simply reply, “Thank you so much for letting me know. Is there anything I can do for YOU?”

Danger
Since their bright neon helmets and padded pants and jackets took the impact of the fall, there isn’t a scratch on their bodies. ANYWHERE. From the outside, they are still perfect. But the insides got a little messy.

Opportunity
Through all her brokenness and her pain, she is completely “Trusting the Process.” Lovely, optimistic, strong. She’s accepted that “this is what’s next” and is peacefully allowing this new adventure to dictate her next steps. She is a wonderful patient, easily complies, voices her needs simply, is focused on her healing.

More Opportunities
Full-time nursery school will be great for our little girl, for now. My sister and I had a wonderful 5-hour lunch. I stayed with a friend I hadn’t seen in years. Mom won’t be moving to Colorado as soon as she thought. Surely more opportunities – both Seen and Unseen – will unfold in time. We may have to look for them, but they’re there.

As much as I wish that I could’ve had a 5-hour, no children around, at-a-restaurant lunch with my sister without Mom in surgery, Opportunities like these ONLY come with this kind of Danger. Thankfully, in this partnership, Danger will pass while Opportunities continue to grow.

Opportunity is always there.