Life on the Yang Side – Where’s my Yin?

By Liv Kellgren, WSFS Instructor

I’ve been thinking about Yin and Yang lately.

Yin is a slow, patient waltz; Yang is a fast, tripping polka. Yin is an easy whispering beckoning; Yang a loud, demanding push. Yin can be a calm, sweet smile; Yang can be a wild, breathless anxiety. But they’re not glued in these extremities, they slide along the Yin-Yang Spectrum. Also, they are not alone in their positions, as they each need the other for self-identity. For example, that slow, patient waltz can feel really Yang if you’d rather sit out the dance altogether. They are always in relationship to each other, they aren’t fixed in their expression, they each exist as a part of the whole… Sounds a little too much like a riddle. The Yin-Yang spectrum is Nebulous? Changing? Fascinating? Yesyesyes.

As you can see, I’ve been thinking A LOT about Yin and Yang lately. Perhaps you’ve seen the circle, two spinning paisleys, the black one with a white eye and the white one with a black eye. Sometimes I even think they are watching! Those “eyes” remind us that within all Yin is Yang, and within the Yang there’s a little Yin, too. I even notice how Yin and Yang somersault around each other, each taking turns in the predominant role. Together, they symbolize balance. Or at least the search for Balance. I know I’m looking for Balance.

Like most people in-this-culture-at-this-time, I live on the Yang side of life. (And I like it!) A pot of coffee, workout at the gym, grocieriesplaygroupsearrands and then naptime for the kiddies at noon. Yep, some days do indeed squish together. This life in the suburbs with two kids under 3 has become a life of early mornings, to-do lists and a tile floor covered in loud, hard toys. It’s all too easy for me to turn my engines on full speed and gogogo; It’s an automatic setting at this point. But I’ve learned it’s unsustainable (unfortunately): Too much coffee = reflux. Stepping on toys hurts. What day is it, really? How do I create/find/allow for moments of peacefulness – especially if everything else in this life right now is not?

The one gift that Life on the Yang Side has for people like me (like us?) is that just about anything else is Yin. Looking at the Yin Yang Sliding Scale of Sanity, I’m waaaaaay over on the Yang Side. Not as far as it can go by any means, but far enough that there’s wholelotta Yin waiting to be discovered! I’ve been able to incorporate some Yin features into our daily lives that have helped me find some important moments of balance.

• We go outside for a walk – even if it’s just around the block – once or twice a day. This may seem a little Yang-ish, but we walk slowly, look at bugs, pick flowers, meander, hold hands, look at stars.

• We don’t watch the news. Ever. We have a TV and cable and Roku for kiddie movies, foreign films and stand-up comedians, but no “reality” TV. This alone has nearly erased that wild, breathless anxiety.

• We stop and listen to each other. To talk to the toddler, I’ll get on her same level, make eye-contact and summarize back to her what I heard. To talk to the baby, I’ll get on his same level (or lift him up to mine), and agree with everything he babbles, filling in the incomprehensible gaps. (The toddler now listens and talks to him the same way!) My husband and I stop what we’re doing, turn toward each other, make eye-contact and listen – without responding. These moments have established a deep connection between us and the freedom to self-express.

And I’m looking for more. Life on the Yang Side can be a challenge. And I want to create/find/allow for even more moments of Yin. What is it that YOU do to seek out Balance?